Why Is My Toddler Acting Out?
Because what happened to my sweet baby?
I mean seriously.
It was as if I woke up one day and my smiling, happy baby had turned into a talking toddler that knew what “no” meant and how to use it.
And boy she does love to say no.
I’m not sure why, but the word “no” can often feel triggering to hear as a parent.
A lot of us were brought up by our parents to not say no.
So a lot of us carrying that same attitude over into parenting our own children.
I know that I’m personally working on being a more “conscious” parent and using more gentle techniques.
But is it hard when you have a 3 year old telling you no and choosing to not listen sometimes.
My initial reaction is to say “You don’t tell me no”
But then what does that teach her?
That she can never say no?
I definitely don’t want her to not feel confident in her ability to say no, but at the same time, I’m her parent.
And there are times when I can’t accept no.
Especially if it involves her safety and wellbeing.
I really could be overthinking it, but I think that is what makes me a good parent.
Because I’m thinking and trying to choose words that give her power while also being respectful.
It is truly a balancing act when trying to parent consciously.
As someone who grew up with parents who never really had to put their hands on me, I want to be that way with my daughter as well.
I don’t want to be that parent who loses control of their emotions and lashes out to their kids when they are misbehaving.
Emotions are hard enough to deal with as an adult, so why should we expect the same with our children?
They have only been 2 to 3 years compared to our 20 or 30 and we want them to act like they have it together all the time.
Instead of lashing out, spread your arms out.
I have actually done this with my daughter before right in the middle of one her meltdowns.
And she immediately ran into arms and hugged me.
The crying gradually stopped and she slowly gained her composure.
As her parent, I want to be her safe space.
And in order for me to be that, I have to allow her to work through her emotions while also letting her know that I’m here is she needs me.
It is not about giving in to her demands because I said no.
It is about being there while she works through her big emotions and knows that I still love her even when I say no.
Toddler meltdowns are no fun, but they are a part of toddlerhood and most of us parent have to deal with it.
I’m not always perfect with every meltdown, but I do my best and that is what keeps me going during this phase of toddlerhood.
I discussed some other ways to discipline your toddler without yelling or hitting in the post that you can find below.
If you are a parent who is trying to better, then check out that post.
I will catch you all next time!
Read More: Discipline Your Toddler With Yelling Or Hitting
Love,
Just Jass