Do You Have Postpartum Depression?
Because sometimes you think you don’t.
I know that I didn’t think I had it after having my first daughter.
When most think of postpartum depression, they think of a mom crying holding her baby who is also crying.
Some may even picture a mom hiding away from her child while crying.
Which is what postpartum depression can look like sometimes.
But not all the time.
Everyone goes straight to the sad emotion when they think of depression.
Because most depressed individuals are sad.
But what about the other emotions that a depressed individual can express?
Can someone who suffers from postpartum depression still wake up and function normally?
Absolutely.
A mom can suffer from postpartum depression and still love and take care of her baby.
She can express sadness and still smile when she looks at her baby.
I know that there are some moms who have dealt with some “negative” thoughts about what it means to be a mom.
Or even had “negative” thoughts about their baby.
But that is not every mom.
And the reason I know that is because I’m one of those moms.
I struggled with postpartum depression for the majority of the first year of my older daughter’s life.
But I absolutely adored my daughter and could never imagine life without her.
For me personally, I was sad, but the emotion that was the strongest was anger.
I was downright irritable all the time.
Which is exactly why I didn’t think I could be suffering from postpartum depression.
In my mind, I couldn’t be depressed because I wasn’t sad and crying all the time.
Now don’t get wrong.
I did cry sometimes and would lay my daughter down in her play pen where I knew she was safe so I could cry.
But crying is what dominated my behavior during that time.
It was anger and I felt very snappy with everyone from my husband to my own family.
I was just felt irritable.
Maybe it was the postpartum hormones because after you have a baby, your body is just so different and I’m not just talking about physically either.
I’m sure those are partially the blame, but then I still felt irritable months later.
Even a year later.
I was often angry with myself.
Angry that I felt so tied down with breastfeeding our baby.
Angry that husband got to go to work during the week days while I had to stay home with our baby.
And angry that it felt like all I had become was a mom.
So even though I was angry on the outside, I was actually sad on the inside and just wanted to be happy.
That is what my experience looked like with postpartum depression during my daughter’s first year.
I talk more about my experience as well as how I recovered in the post that you can find through the link below.
If you are reading this, I want you to know that you are not alone and you can beat this.
But you have to have to be willing to acknowledge that you are suffering so that you can get the help that you need.
I will catch you all next time!
Read More: The Truth About Postpartum Depression As A First Time Mom
Love,
Just Jass